Father's day breakfast that the kids & I made:

uncured smoked wild boar bacon
then cooked up in the leftover grease --duck egg omelets with chives (from the garden!), green pepper, tomato, avocado and burrata cheese.

raspberries (picked by Rebecca from our garden!)

fresh watermelon chunks

strawberry kefir....
---------------------------------

now excuse me while I go and die of a massive heart attack from all that fat & cholesterol!

IT WAS THAT GOOD!!!

went for a 12 mile-ish run today... and saw lots of "running magic" during my 2.5 hours out of the house:

4 rabbits (we have the cotton tailed little brown bunnies around here -- so cute!!!)

a pair of mourning doves. I know they are related to pigeons, pigeons I hate, mourning doves I love. The waited until the last moment to fly off and coo'ed as they did.

A whole gaggle of Canada Geese. Maybe 5-6 adults, and about 20 total fluffy babies that crossed the major road, then dutifully followed their moms to the little reservior area behind the road.

The smell of the blooming magnolias and honeysuckle were absolutely DIVINE!!! To me those smells are "true summer", reminiscent of childhood innocence andalso a slight aphrodisiac scent too (not sure how all those things at the same time, but "it is").

And also just "noticing " that the mulberries are starting to ripen and that the raspberries will be ready in about 1-2 weeks.... so if I was "in a pinch" I could find a little carb-nourishment, sugar / water pick-me-up.


WHAT A GREAT RUN on a lot of levels!

Ridin' the prednisone train AGAIN!!!! Stupid fuckin' allergy to unknown substance(s) in my garden. But, taking 6 zyrtec (24 hour pill), and 8 benedryl allergy pills in a 24 hour period helped keep my eyes from COMPLETELY swelling shut.

I HATE BEING A DELICATE FLOWER!!!!!!!!!!

I am TERRIFIED because here I am, 6 hours after being in the garden... I have already taken 2 doses of zyrtec.... and my eyes are itchy. It's how it starts with my face blowing up. I hope I am just imagining it! :-(

today I weeded all of my garden beds and will go buy & plant tomatoes & other yummies for my family.

today I was told that I was being vain... because I want to lose more weight and trying to look like I was 15 yo again is vain.

HEY -- I DON'T WANT TO LOOK 15, I JUST WANT TO GET RID OF MY POT BELLY!

Some people are just "jealous bitches" because I am working on improving myself and you don't have the discipline to do it for yourself!!!! :-P

bringing to friend's house for a gaming day. Totally made this up, its so yummy as a cold salad:

pasta corkscrews
shrimp
carrots
green beans
celery
green peppers
salt / pepper
mayonaisse as a binder

I had an AWESOME 10 mile run this morning... and I ran the whole thing... which is literally the farthest i have run non-stop to date.

Time started being a factor (had to go to work) or I would have gone farther!!!

26.2 miles for the Richmond marathon is seeming more like a reality like I CAN TOTALLY DO THIS (especially since I have till November to train!!!)

was at a BBQ today (hosted by a friend who's husband is BIG into competing in the Scottish Highland Games). As things were winding down, the husband took a few of the bigger guys down to the back yard where they were doing big rock throwing, bowling ball throwing, shotput throwing, etc like they do in these games. Well it looked like a LOT of FUN so I went down to try.


You could hear the collective gasp from most of the other BBQ attendees. My husband yelled out, "go Rachel" -- that was pretty cool, but then I got super intimidated that I was going to make a complete ass of myself b/c like practically everyone there got up to come look-y-loo watch me.


My friend's husband gave me a quick tutorial on the form to use so I wouldn't kill myself or throw out my shoulder and handed me a 15 lb shot put ball (looked like a little cannon ball type thing). I was wearing a tanktop sleeveless style shirt and when I put the shotput up on my shoulder / up towards my cheek I thought -- holy crap, my shoulder is huge. One of the guys said, OMG you have amazing arms, are you a ringer? Quite the compliment.


Well, I threw it 3x and was exactly 12 feet for each throw. Supposedly a 9 lb weight is the standard for competition for women in the Highland Games... and my throws were not only damned respectable, but especially for a woman, and especially for the first time trying.


My friend's husband is now trying to recruit me to compete in those games... hmm... maybe.... :-)

so I am exactly 1 month from my 40th b-day. I have been saying for the last year that I am 40 years old, so that takes the "sting" out of the reality and I am finally ok with that...

Gonna go out and dance my butt off, maybe even have a drink or 2 (this is huge for me, b/c I don't drink anymore).

Last night I went dancing and started having a conversation with someone. She told me that she couldn't believe I was going to be 40, much less to have 2 children-- then went over to her friends and pointed me out and said, "look at her - -she is 40 and has 2 kids, can you believe that?!". WOW. I just giggled insanely b/c I couldn't believe it. It was funny and amazing all at the same time. What a thrill.

When I was a kid, my grandmother had recently retired and was looking for things to do to take up her time... she decided to take belly dancing lessons. Having never taken any formal dance training, nor any sort of exercise class before, and being 65 years old... she said it took a few months to get the courage to even sign up. She became a regular and wound up having tons of belly dancing stuff like finger cymbols, sequiny- shiny belts with little hanging down tassles, veils, etc. I loved when we would put these things on and dance to music together. Even as a kid, I remember thinking -- wow... this is cool, I have a grandma who belly dances... I want to be a belly dancing grandma when I am old too.

Well, I feel that spirit of my grandmother when I go out dancing. I don't really care what someone else thinks, and because of this I move freely, have a kick-ass time, and have people think stuff like they want to be like me when they are 40+ too.

OTW, same ol' for the most part. Working, working out, losing inches, gaining muscle, reveling in the changes in my body, wondering what i will look like when I "get there" with getting down to a reasonable body fat percentage...

Going to my yearly ob appt next week. Gonna get my 1st mammogram. Ugg. But, they also have a device to measure body fat and will probably do that too.

(or so I've been told by a certain Ms. katiebignuts)

HA! I am working my ass off -- literally & figuratively. But, I swear its just in the last like month that the scale has started moving again after a 5 month stagnation / upswing (basically after the stupid spider bite, then 1 month + of prednisone which I SWEAR sticks around forever in my body and wrecks havoc!!!!)

Anyhow, I am now almost back to where I started at when being bitten... just 2-3 pounds off.

I can totally see changes in my body. I like seeing muscle definition, collar bones peeking out, hints of where the 6-pack is, and actually seeing where my waist will be. OMG, my whole life I have been either boxy - rectangle shaped, or like a big apple... so to see the curve of waist is almost unbelievable. In fact, I literally am so dysmorphic that I had to put my hands on my lowest rib bone, then find my hip bones and when I realized that curve was in the middle, then and only then did I believe it was "WAIST" and not just a really weird roll of fat shape.


So, I am using a new workout program called "The New Rules of Lifting for Women" which will hereafter be known as NRLFW (there is a version for men too) which is a total body weights, stretches, etc. Very prescribed movements, when to do them, how to do them, etc. There are 7 stages, each with an A, B, or sometimes C workout within each stage. I have done 2 of A- stage 1s, and 1 of B-stage 1s so far.

This NRLFW workout KICKS MY ASS!!! I am sweating buckets by the end of it. And since I am in such awesome shape (haha) this is actually saying a lot.

There is a cutie pie guy at my gym I am friendly with because we are both there M-F at the same time -- he is in his 50s, but looks in 30s, was a pro-athlete, is now a personal trainer, and is so sweet, and very flirty w/ all the women...so he came up to me today and said, "damn girl, you are really making the rest of us look bad today. Keep this up and you will burst into flames you are going to be so hot!" That really MADE my day (gotta love compliments like that, espeically when they are from hot buff guys!)

I am going to be so fuckin' ripped by the end of this NRLFW (a 6 month program)... and because I am training for a FULL MARATHON too. Ran 18 miles total so far this week with 3 runs and will get in at least 1 more longer run over the weekend if time/weather permit.

Yeah, I am insane. But if I work hard, I can totally do a full marathon (26.2 mile run) by November. Will do the Richmond one and am planning to go w/ the above mentions Bignuts.

Yesterday I went to the Underarmour store and was looking for a few new tops and shorts (summer is coming and I am going to need new & smaller sizes than I used last year--yay!)

Anyhow, they had this DRESS. Its called a "Forest Dress" and you are "supposed" to wear it for hiking in the woods? O,O That's what the sales girl said, and she noted that all of the sales people were totally confused by it. Well, I was looking and thinking it would be good for going out to a club when I go dancing. So I tried it on and it looked SUPER HOT! I was stunned. My shoulders and arms looked amazing to me and I was thinking damn I am getting buff!

So being as how I still am somewhat "dysmorphic" on my actual body size/image, I asked the sales person like this:
"I need your opinion. I am going to buy a few other things ANYWAY so you are going to wind up with a commission. But, please...be honest and tell me if I look like an ass in this dress. I am thinking I can wear it out clubbing. So, if you saw me at a dance club, in this dress, wearing a small set of heels, would you think to yourself-- or worse-- say to a girlfriend--"oh my god, she has NO BUSINESS wearing that".

She quickly said although the fit of the L was probably going to be better in the long run if I was wearing it for actual exercise by hiking in a forest that it was fine, but if I was in a club dancing I should try the XL. But if I was set on buying the L then I should do some Spanks or similar for the anti-stomach pooch thing. She also said that although I looked like I had really good support from the bra built into the dress that bc the material is underarmour and thin/clingy, that I should wear some of those adhesive bra stickers just so I am less nipple-y in it.

So, I decided to try on the XL and she was right, the XL fit way better on me for social reasons the above reasons-- I actually look like there is no stomach pooch.

You can see the dress if you go to http://www.underarmour.com/shop/us/en/womens/apparel/pid1201694-Women-s-UA-Forest-Dress/1201694-001

So, I did wear it out to go dancing. I dance my rear-end off, literally and am usually drenched in sweat-- Not pretty! With this on I looked HOT (got a lot of compliments and admiring glances), and felt like a normal person and not wet/soggy!

Rock those hot bodies girls! We work hard for them! :-)

Pike's Peek 10k (6.2 miles) was today. I did this in 69 minutes, 55 seconds! WOW! That averages out to a 11:16 sec /mile.

They enforced the "no-headsets rule" so this is the first time I ever ran w/o "my music". I am stunned I did so well.

And it was freaking HOT too! We haven't had any real hot weather this year, and today it was like 85 while running. The water stations were actually running out of water which was really bad & dangerous.

Since there was no i-pod for me to keep motivated and on pace... I wanted to burst into the song that was in my head at various times throughout the race that goes:
"its getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. I am getting too hot. I wanna take my clothes off"!
(I am weird that way. I thought it was funny, but not sure if others would have appreciated it, so I just sang it in my head)

Race ended at White Flint mall. They had bottles of water, dunkin donuts (I had the best glazed donut I have ever eaten in my life!!! and a vanilla cream filled one too!), ziti Pasta with sauce and cheese from Guiseppi's. These are the things I did eat. Then I wanted to barf and was finished with carbs and really just wanted some protein source instead!!!

They also had pizza, bagels w/ cream cheese, bananas for runners too.

All in all a really well done race. There were over 3000 people signed up. Well marked as to each 1/2 mile & 1 mile, also a mark for the 5 k mark too.

running the Pike's Peek on Sunday. A 10k race (6.3 miles) from SHady Grove Metro, then down Rockville Pike to White Fling Mall.

YEEHAA!

doctor visit was very pleasant... she was thrilled with my blood pressure, my blood sugar numbers, my exercise feats (half marathon, weight training, cardio, etc). Only comment that was "neutral" was that my weight has been the same for 2 visits now, but "at least I was stablized and not regaining".

All was well with the dr appt until she said something like what made you turn the corner with diet/exercise... so I responded, "you telling me I was 'dead on paper'". She denied that she ever said that. WOW, because, like, you can just make shit like that up. I told her either way, she did say it and it worked, and its still motivating me so why take it back?

Should get lab results tomorrow. Can't wait to see them.

Will go back in 3-4 months.

So, on way back to office decided to stop at Roots Market to pick up stuff I don't see at other stores. Found an AMAZING jar of a ground coconut that was made into a nut butter substitute. Wasn't really coconut butter because that is just the fats, this was pure coconut ground up so fine that it was like butter. OH MY FREAKING GOD!!!! That will be waiting for me in my own "personal heaven" -- creamy, melts on your tongue, sweet, buttery, fatty, pure bliss... I want to mainline it into my veins. I want to have sex in it. I want to eat it until I puke. Its like crack, heroin, crystal meth and ecstacy all mixed into one jar. I can never buy that again... ever... and its a shame.

What the hell was I thinking ordering and drinking a 1/2 milkshake?
especially since in the morning I am going to my cuntscab doctor and now I am really nervous. I haven't lost any weight in like 5-6 months. She will read me the riot act on it.

Paduan... or grasshopper? HMMMM
Either way, fascinating thought
I would love to mull this over more. But don't make me think too hard b/c my head just might explode.
(is this better witty reparte? Sorry, those skills have diminshed, but others have definately improved over time)

Yeah, I am an idiot and don't let me get suckered back into the drunken nonsense of others. Feel free to kick my ass if I do.

Rebecca looks like Susan Dey from the Partidge Family... or at the very least, like a 70's model

So, I am totally bummed that the Marine Corps Marathon in October is already sold out. Guess by default then I am NOT doing that race. I may have to do the Richmond Marathon in November instead -- drivable, a cheap city to do a hotel at...

And, I decided to do the Pikes Peak Race from Shady Grove Metro down to White Flint Mall this Sunday. Its a 10k... about 6.2 miles... GOOD TIMES!!!

these pics will only be available online for a few months. I may actually order some, even though for the most part I think I look like crap in them.

At relatively near the start line:
http://orders.racephotonetwork.com/QPPlus/PreviewImage.aspx?O=26382781&R=00001&F=0452

from about mile 10 or so:
http://orders.racephotonetwork.com/QPPlus/PreviewImage.aspx?O=26382781&R=00001&F=0998

go here for a really horrid pic ( I think I look super fat) of me running my 1/2 marathon. Pic was taken about mile number 11
:
http://orders.racephotonetwork.com/QPPlus/PreviewImage.aspx?O=26382781&R=00002&F=1411


Seriously, how is it possible to look FATTER, and more bloated as I run farther and farther? Very bizarre!

went to Ocean City this weekend for the 1/2 marathon -- my first 1/2 marathon. For those of you who don't know, that is 13.1 miles.... however, I was wearing my trusty Garmin Forerunner 305 GPS/heartrate monitor and it told me that for my whole run that I actually logged 13.4 miles. I AM CLAIMING 13.4 MILES NO MATTER WHAT THE "OFFICIAL DISTANCE" WAS!

I did the race in 2 hours, 42 min and 51 seconds.
That is a 12:27 / mile pace.

I came in 343rd place, out of the 370 people who either:
-agreed to wear the timing chip
-finished within the 3 hr, 15 min time limit

I must commend the planning committee for:

1) having all of the port-a-potty stops absolutely PERFECTLY placed for my convenience. I swear everytime I felt the need to go, it was right ahead of me -- and that was my biggest fear that I would need to go and be \"stuck\" -- Darned irritable bowel syndrome / runner\'s trots!

2) The cookies at the finish line were the best packaged Keebler Fudge stripe cookies I have ever eaten in my whole life. And with it being in the 70s, the melty goodness of the chocolate was enough to be lip-smackin\' good, but not so melt-y that it was a big nasty mess to eat!

3) At one of the water stops, they gave out packs of some kind of goo-product. I don\'t remember the name, but I got the Strawberry/kiwi flavor. Once I got past the \"consistency\" of it in my mouth, I realized it really rocked. It was perfect timing, perfect yumminess, and a nice boost of carbs.


Anyhow, I ran solid for the first 9.4 miles... then did a combo of running and walking for the last almost 4 miles. The sky was perfectly cloudless, and as the sun rose and the temperature started climbing into the low 70s, that was "not helping" my exhaustion levels.

And, I am really proud of myself on a lot of levels:
-I actually finished!
-I finished in under my personal 3 hour goal.
-Just about a year ago, I began this process of running and if I could do a whole mile then I was super psyched... that is a crap-load of progress!

Yeah, and when I got on the bus to go back to the start point, I totally teared up and cried just a little. I was that proud. I CANNOT WAIT to run another 1/2 marathon!!!! And now I am thinking I am going to sign up for the Marine Corp Marathon too!!!

Yay, go me!

funny... The last time I checked, anorexics eat NOTHING nor NEXT TO NOTHING.

Why on earth do people say such STUPID things?!?

I eat 6-8 meals per day. And on an average day I eat over 2000 calories.

I am very conscious about what I eat, when I eat, making sure I get lots of protein, plenty of carb and fat. Try to keep my macros to about 60% carb, 20% protein, 20% fat... and most days I am pretty close.

Oh, and lest anyone be mistaken, I am also NOT BULIMIC.

I like to eat. How the hell do you think I became 280-ish pounds in the first place. I LOVE FOOD!

Only differences are:

1) now I also work out. I do "heavy weights" with weights machines. I also do some hand weights work. I run. I do elliptical. I swim. I do tons of walking. I move my body. I do sit ups, crunches, and "penguin taps". Penguin taps are helping me to get those really pretty lines on the sides of my stomach that show that I actually have oblique muscles under my skin. I love them. I am actually also getting a real defined waistline (ok, its slightly defined... but since I have always been build like a big rectangle, having any curve to my waist is MAJOR!!!!)

and 2) Now I watch portion size, and try to "eat clean". I eat lots of different foods. I may eat a spoonful of a desert, or pass on it all together... but sometimes I know I am going to eat something so I plan accordingly and do more exercise to "cover me" and "cover my calories" so I can splurge.

So, No...for the 100th time...
I am not anorexic. I am not bulimic. I am not exercise-orexic or whatever term people are making up these days.

Our own government and every health organization out there says that Americans should exercise for a MINIMUM of 30 minutes per day. Note that there is no statement that exercising more than 31 minutes per day is dangerous to your health!

So for all those people out there concerned about my health... let me ask you... is what you are doing "working for you"?!?!?!?!?!? Are you in prime health? Are you wearing the size you want in clothes? Do you like the way you look naked? Do others come up to you and ask you for exercise or nutrition advice because you have a body like a Greek God(dess)???

Because, I still weigh 200 pounds. I still have chunks of fat. I still have PLENTY of weight left to lose.

And, so, if what I am doing is "working for me" and I have lost weight, and am continuing to lose body fat -- SLOWLY, STEADILY, and HEALTHFULLY... then why are you trying to tear me down???

Do you want me to be morbidly obese, like I was?
Do you want me to be diabetic? Have high cholesterol? triglicerides? blood pressure? To be so out of shape that walking 1 block makes me out of breath? All of those things I was, and am no longer?

Why would you make me doubt myself? Doubt "what I am doing"? Make me think that I am "too thin" and anorexic? WHY?

I give any friend and family member a free pass, without any expiration on this offer, to KICK MY ASS FIERCELY if:
-I was too thin
-If I was unhealthy
-If I was endangering my health in any way

My doctors and medical team are THRILLED with me. They want me to keep going. They want me to lose more weight. They want me to stay this course. They are the ones who read me the freaking riot act when I was grossly overweight to get my act together!

And as a matter of fact, my doctors/medical team don't think I am too thin. They say I am still fat. They say I need to further cut my calories or exercise even more. They want me to do what I am doing and MORE!

If I were truly anorexic, then would I make REGULAR appointments with my general practice doctor, my endocrinologist and my registered dietitian to "check in", to get lab work done, to make sure I am as healthy as I can be, to make sure I am "doing everything the RIGHT WAY"????

My doctors and medical team are my coaches in this process. I value their input. I value their opinions. Because they are medically valid and are supportive.

----
So enough already! The next person who bizarrely calls me anorexic just might get punched in the face... but only if I can do it in an "aerobic" manner.